Dear Jason,

"While you were sleeping..."

I immediately thought about how we just started saying "love you" at the end of our telephone conversations a few years ago. And I'm so grateful.

I thought about how our relationship has grown in the last few years in the most wonderful way. I call you for advice, you call me for advice, we enjoy each other's company, we relate as adults, etc.

And then I thought about the relationship we had as kids...

You have always been my protective older brother. Always told me what is right and what is wrong. And always made clear the boys I will date and the boys I will not date.

And yet, no mistaking, I was the rule follower between us two. Mom would punish you and I would cry. Cry my eyes out, in fact. So hurt at the thought that you were hurting.

And then there was Aunt Evelyn's. Our Great Aunt who lived in Washington, DC. Very proper lifestyle, not a kid-friendly abode. And yet you would find a way to make it hysterical by holding my legs over my head until I farted. No point in mincing words now, right?

Jase, I wish this would all go away. I wish you were doing what you do...being loud, opinionated and assertive.

But that's not where we are.

You're vulnerable. You're weak, but strong. You're sleeping, but fighting. You're oblivious, but aware.

Ending our phone conversations with "love you" has never been enough for me, but I settled. But I guarantee, when you wake...I will inundate you with how much I love and respect you. You are a warrior. Always have been. And I haven't been respectful of that until now.


I love you Bubba. Keep Fighting.

Brandi