We may not go to church every Sunday, but leaning on my Faith is all I know to do at a time like this, Georgia. And listening to music gives me peace, helps me find the words to talk to God and gives me GREAT comfort.
"Oh, my soul
Oh, how you worry
Oh, how you're weary, from fearing you lost control
This was the one thing, you didn't see coming
And no one would blame you, though
If you cried in private
If you tried to hide it away, so no one knows
No one will see, if you stop believing
Oh, my soul
You are not alone
There's a place where fear has to face the God you
know
One more day He will make a way
Let Him show you how, you can lay this down
'Cause you're not alone"
-Casting Crowns (one of my favorites, sweet peach)
Here's what else I know about coping in this unimaginable time of heartache:
You must be mindful. What does that mean?
It means, when your mind goes to the 'what if' or your mind reflects on 'what was' you MUST pull yourself into the present.
Listen for the birds singing. Look for the person you can hold the door for. Respond with a pleasant greeting to the person who just greeted you.
Be mindful. Appreciate the day you are given.
Secondly, understand that experiencing joy is okay. Laughing is okay.
Just this past week our family got the most joy out of a .25 cent bouncy ball, a box for an oversized chair, and an impromptu dance party. The laughter that filled this house was immeasurable and just the medicine my soul needed.
If you find yourself in pain, in heartache, don't ignore the joyful things around it.
Life is going to knock you down. It's not a matter of if - it will. And it's how you get up and respond to it that matters.
Your daddy and I love you dearly and we will try as we may to cushion your fall, but you will fall. That's life.
But you get up sweet peach, no matter how hard it may feel, and you stand up again...putting one.foot.in.front.of.the.other until you realize you don't have to think about it so much anymore. It may take awhile. Be patient. Have faith. And know...you're not alone.
All my love,
Mom
Sunday, June 25, 2017
Sunday, June 4, 2017
Dear Jason,
"While you were sleeping..."
I immediately thought about how we just started saying "love you" at the end of our telephone conversations a few years ago. And I'm so grateful.
I thought about how our relationship has grown in the last few years in the most wonderful way. I call you for advice, you call me for advice, we enjoy each other's company, we relate as adults, etc.
And then I thought about the relationship we had as kids...
You have always been my protective older brother. Always told me what is right and what is wrong. And always made clear the boys I will date and the boys I will not date.
And yet, no mistaking, I was the rule follower between us two. Mom would punish you and I would cry. Cry my eyes out, in fact. So hurt at the thought that you were hurting.
And then there was Aunt Evelyn's. Our Great Aunt who lived in Washington, DC. Very proper lifestyle, not a kid-friendly abode. And yet you would find a way to make it hysterical by holding my legs over my head until I farted. No point in mincing words now, right?
Jase, I wish this would all go away. I wish you were doing what you do...being loud, opinionated and assertive.
But that's not where we are.
You're vulnerable. You're weak, but strong. You're sleeping, but fighting. You're oblivious, but aware.
Ending our phone conversations with "love you" has never been enough for me, but I settled. But I guarantee, when you wake...I will inundate you with how much I love and respect you. You are a warrior. Always have been. And I haven't been respectful of that until now.
I love you Bubba. Keep Fighting.
Brandi
I immediately thought about how we just started saying "love you" at the end of our telephone conversations a few years ago. And I'm so grateful.
I thought about how our relationship has grown in the last few years in the most wonderful way. I call you for advice, you call me for advice, we enjoy each other's company, we relate as adults, etc.
And then I thought about the relationship we had as kids...
You have always been my protective older brother. Always told me what is right and what is wrong. And always made clear the boys I will date and the boys I will not date.
And yet, no mistaking, I was the rule follower between us two. Mom would punish you and I would cry. Cry my eyes out, in fact. So hurt at the thought that you were hurting.
And then there was Aunt Evelyn's. Our Great Aunt who lived in Washington, DC. Very proper lifestyle, not a kid-friendly abode. And yet you would find a way to make it hysterical by holding my legs over my head until I farted. No point in mincing words now, right?
Jase, I wish this would all go away. I wish you were doing what you do...being loud, opinionated and assertive.
But that's not where we are.
You're vulnerable. You're weak, but strong. You're sleeping, but fighting. You're oblivious, but aware.
Ending our phone conversations with "love you" has never been enough for me, but I settled. But I guarantee, when you wake...I will inundate you with how much I love and respect you. You are a warrior. Always have been. And I haven't been respectful of that until now.
I love you Bubba. Keep Fighting.
Brandi
Saturday, June 3, 2017
How May 20, 2017 changed our lives...
In an instant, we were shown how an accident can be so costly.
We were reminded how our lives on earth can be cut short so unexpectedly.
We were shown, no matter how good of a life you THINK you're living...you are not exempt from unimaginable, breathtaking, heartache and pain.
May 20, 2017 was the day my brother Jason was thrown off his dirt bike into a tree, without a helmet, suffering severe brain injury.
On the positive side...
This day has taught us the meaning of praying sincerely. When you tell someone you're going to pray, you should mean it. You should bow to your knees and add them to your prayer list because they are banking on it. We're all guilty of saying "I'm praying" and life gets in the way and you forget to literally speak that name and that request to God. From this point forward, I vow to pray when I say I'm going to pray.
Pray with intention and persistence. That is my reminder.
This day has taught us how much the presence of family means. It's so easy to operate in silos when things are going well and get together 'when you can.' But the reality of what we've learned is you don't know when you have 'more time' so why not take advantage of the time you have? I'm so grateful for everyone who made the effort to get together at mom and dad's, including Jason and his family, just two weeks before the accident.
Make time for family, just like you do for your friends and other activities. That is my reminder.
This day has taught us we don't know our family as well as we think we do. And for shame. I vow to ask more questions of Jason when he wakes. I vow to learn more about my parents as we are leaning on each other and hoping against hope our immediate family is restored to a family of 4. We also pray fiercely that Jason is returned to Hunter and Christy fully restored in mind, body and spirit; that is my primary prayer request.
Live selflessly and not selfishly. Inquire about others more often. That is my reminder.
This day has taught me to live more in the present. Appreciate the really small things. In Jason's recovery, you can't allow yourself to fast forward or think 'what if.' Your mind, to protect your heart, has to stay exactly where he is each day. And when I think about the stress of raising my toddlers, it's HARD to stay in that moment at times. But when I think about how LITERALLY my mom would go back to that moment right now, raising me and Jason...a time machine of sorts, I'm reminded to live more presently.
Don't try to escape the present or project the future. Live in and for each moment...as it's the moments that build the lifetime.
It's been two weeks since the accident. We're seeing God's work in Jason and through ALL the people in our lives who are showing support in so MANY different ways and praying.
"The pain you feel today will be the strength you feel tomorrow."
Thank you all for your prayers.
We were reminded how our lives on earth can be cut short so unexpectedly.
We were shown, no matter how good of a life you THINK you're living...you are not exempt from unimaginable, breathtaking, heartache and pain.
May 20, 2017 was the day my brother Jason was thrown off his dirt bike into a tree, without a helmet, suffering severe brain injury.
On the positive side...
This day has taught us the meaning of praying sincerely. When you tell someone you're going to pray, you should mean it. You should bow to your knees and add them to your prayer list because they are banking on it. We're all guilty of saying "I'm praying" and life gets in the way and you forget to literally speak that name and that request to God. From this point forward, I vow to pray when I say I'm going to pray.
Pray with intention and persistence. That is my reminder.
This day has taught us how much the presence of family means. It's so easy to operate in silos when things are going well and get together 'when you can.' But the reality of what we've learned is you don't know when you have 'more time' so why not take advantage of the time you have? I'm so grateful for everyone who made the effort to get together at mom and dad's, including Jason and his family, just two weeks before the accident.
Make time for family, just like you do for your friends and other activities. That is my reminder.
This day has taught us we don't know our family as well as we think we do. And for shame. I vow to ask more questions of Jason when he wakes. I vow to learn more about my parents as we are leaning on each other and hoping against hope our immediate family is restored to a family of 4. We also pray fiercely that Jason is returned to Hunter and Christy fully restored in mind, body and spirit; that is my primary prayer request.
Live selflessly and not selfishly. Inquire about others more often. That is my reminder.
This day has taught me to live more in the present. Appreciate the really small things. In Jason's recovery, you can't allow yourself to fast forward or think 'what if.' Your mind, to protect your heart, has to stay exactly where he is each day. And when I think about the stress of raising my toddlers, it's HARD to stay in that moment at times. But when I think about how LITERALLY my mom would go back to that moment right now, raising me and Jason...a time machine of sorts, I'm reminded to live more presently.
Don't try to escape the present or project the future. Live in and for each moment...as it's the moments that build the lifetime.
It's been two weeks since the accident. We're seeing God's work in Jason and through ALL the people in our lives who are showing support in so MANY different ways and praying.
"The pain you feel today will be the strength you feel tomorrow."
Thank you all for your prayers.
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