I'll miss the dance...

As parents, we developed a dance.

It was smooth, intuitive mostly, stress reducing, and joy inducing.

He made no bones about it..I was in the lead and he followed. And as a proud mom who finally felt confident about my ability, I was happy to lead (most of the time) and tried hard to stay off his feet.  :)

We would move about the house as if we were reading each others mind. I change dirty diapers, he makes her laugh, I feed her, he comes over half way through to entertain and get her to eat the food she's refused for me. We're in the bath and he brings the cloths I forgot or the cup to rinse her hair. Not in an 'on call' way, but an available..dance partner kind of way.

He met me at my car, everyday like clock work, to help get her and her 'stuff' in the house, dancing around the dogs...who were excited to see mom and little sister.

He would have ended his work day, no matter what was left to be done, and scoop her up in his arms. Make her laugh and giggle like only daddy can - giving mom a minute to breathe. She barely knew I was around for those few minutes..and that was fine. I'm getting her dinner ready and she'd eventually clue in.

At bed time, he carried her up the stairs. I read the books and laid her down to sleep. However, numerous nights my touch and time wasn't enough and as soon as we'd tag each other out/in, he'd rock and soothe and come down with a look of success. And I'm not too proud to admit, he brought that dance home several times!

He knows when I'm stressed, over-analyzing, tired, burnt out, under-achieving, ecstatic, adamant, passionate and more. He has this crazy ability to make me laugh when I don't think I want to, to make me see the calm when I'm ready to fight, supports me when I don't think I'm worthy, builds me up when I feel like crumbling.

He's my best friend and favorite dance partner. Neither of us are perfect and so we just give it our best shot.

I'm not saying poor me. I know a lot of mothers have it a lot more intense than what I'm about to experience. For me it's the adjustment from an award-winning duet to a solo act. And I've been known to be a showstopper :) so I know I have it in me.

However, for the next 51 weeks I'll miss my love, my partner and best friend. I'll miss our dance.

I love you darling,
Brandi